Growing Up: 5 Life Lessons I Learned About Being Single

“It takes courage to grow up and be who you really are.”
– E.E. Cummings
I cannot even begin to tell you how crazy September was. It was a month of heartaches, tears, countless tossings-and-turnings in bed, sad realizations, and moving on; a month of trying things for the first time, appreciating the now; making new friendships, and going on spontaneous night outs; a month of changes, lessons learned, and moments that make you go “I’m-so-glad-I-dodged-that-bullet”; a month of accepting challenges, taking things to the next level, and most importantly, growing up and discovering who you really are.
Though bittersweet, I will always remember my September.
Here are five things I learned this month, and hopefully, you’ll also learn a thing or two from me 🙂 
1. Sometimes, it’s okay not to be okay.
Don’t keep it all to yourself. More importantly, don’t lie to yourself about how you feel. As Sigmund Freud once said, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”
It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to get hurt. It’s okay to feel sad.  Don’t get mad at yourself for being human. 
2. Being single isn’t a big deal.

I used to be that type of girl who was always in a relationship; the dependent, damsel-in-distress who just needed a boyfriend. Well, surprise, surprise: being single isn’t a bad thing after all. You get time alone to think and reflect and do things on your own. The best part? You get to focus on your priorities and you also get to know yourself 30x better.
Time alone is time to grow. Cherish it. Make the most out of it. If a man or woman comes along, then that’s good. But if no one comes, you’ll still be fine. 🙂

3. It’s nice having someone be there for you. But there are some moments when you have to do things by yourself.

Sometimes, you have to watch that movie alone. Sometimes, you have to open the door for yourself. Sometimes, you have to learn how to ride solo. Sometimes, you have to be your own source of strength. And you’ll thank yourself for being so.
4. Don’t rush into things.

Don’t rush love, especially. Live in the now. 
As the saying goes, “Don’t look for love. Quietly give it away and let it find you back.”
5. Don’t get fooled by grand gestures; it’s the little things that matter most.
Because the little things are the sincerest ones.
Top: Eastwood bazaar | Pants: Greenhills bazaar | Shoes: Asian Vogue| Hat: SM Accessories | Sunglasses: Sunnies by Charlie | Accessories: Forever 21

All photos by Kat Rosario of KAT ROSARIO PHOTOGRAPHY

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Pagod na pagod.

Ang daming gagawin.

Ano ba uunahin ko?

Mag-thesis? Mag-aral? Mag-sulat ng papers? Mag-org? Magtrabaho? Mag-email kay boss? Hindi ko na alam.

Ah, basta. Pagod na ako.

Pagod na pagod na akong

Mag-thesis. Mag-aral. Mag trabaho. Magpapayat. Mag-mahal. Magpa-ikot. Ma-inlove. Magpaka-tanga.

 Sino ba binibiro ko?

Teka, trabaho pa ba pinaguusapan natin?


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Because sometimes, going to the village park at 5AM to declutter your life is the best thing to do.

Sometimes, everything wrong in the world piles up and you realize you’re no longer strong enough to carry the weight you’ve been trying to bear with all these months.

Sometimes, the most cliche idea pops in your head in the middle of the night, and you laugh at it because 1) it’s such a joke and 2) it only happens in poorly-rated chick flicks,
but then you pause and stop laughing, and begin to tell yourself that it’s actually something you’d want to do and have to do. Just because.

Sometimes, it’s okay to grab your favorite sweater and head out of the house while half of the world’s asleep; it’s okay to walk to the village park at 5 in the morning, just because you’ve been looking for some symbolic shit to do, to remind yourself that you’ll be fine, and most importantly, that’s it’s all over now; that there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore.

And sometimes, it’s okay to let go of everything that reminds you of the traumatic past. Literally, figuratively, whatever.

I’ve never been a fan of fire.
If you’d ask me, I’d choose water over fire any time.
I wanted to be water.
I wanted stillness, and life, and tranquility.
Fire, on the other hand, scared me.
It reminded me of anger.
Of rage.
Of hate.

But in that moment, fire was what I needed to be.

I’ve been quiet for too long.
Stagnant, even– I was never the type who could easily express herself.
But it all grew exhausting– having to pretend that you’re okay and that you’re happy and that you’re strong and that you don’t need anyone to pick you up anymore, because you’re bat shit tired of being let down again.

I knew I needed to be angry. I needed to express my frustration. I needed to admit to myself that it’s okay to be sad.

I needed fire. 
And I had to remind myself over and over and over again
that that’s completely okay.

And so at 5 in the morning,
while the sky was a sad shade of dark blue and the world was quiet,
I dumped everything on the ground–
every picture, every handwritten letter, every memory,
every broken promise, every lie, every hurtful thing that ever pierced through my heart.
The first 10 minutes was awkward, with me trying to fiddle with a lighter and figuring out
how this will exactly go, but after an attempt or two (or three),
everything was set ablaze.

And as the flames flickered in the darkness, I sat on the ground and watched.

My little corner in the village park, that corner of bitter memories and years of not being enough, illuminated bright enough to remind myself why it still stings, and big enough to crush me and kill me and and hurt me. All over again.
It was painful.
But for the first time in a long time, I didn’t hate myself for doing this– I cried.
And a voice inside me said,
“Crumble. Break down. Show you’re weak. Lick your wounds. It’s okay not to be okay.”

Smoke quickly filled the air as my little corner of hate, sadness, and anger flared. And slowly, everything died down, peacefully and gracefully, and the next thing I knew, my past turned into ashes.

And just like that, it ended. I was finally, completely, okay.

I stood from where I was sitting, and around me, birds were beginning to sing their anthem.

And the same voice in my head gently whispered,

“Keep your chin up, darling.

The dawn is breaking.”

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Darling, take the nearest exit: A letter to my 16-year-old-self

He will be mysterious.
He will seem distant and unattainable,
and then he will woo you
and tell you that you’re different from the other girls.

He will tell you he still finds you pretty even when you’ve had a long ass night and your hair is all over your face and you still haven’t slept and you’re stuck with a truckload of problem sets to work on and you have no idea how you’re going to apply college algebra in real life anyway.
He will go out of his way to make you feel special.
He will text you at 3PM.
He will text you at 3AM.
He will make you feel like you’re the only one running in his mind.

And you will fall for it.


Because as soon as you let him know you’re falling for it, the game changes.

He will lock you up in his fingers.
He will keep you
trap you inside
and then 
he will let go of you
without any warning.

And you will come running after him. Desperately.

He will tell you he loves you.
He will let his walls fall down
and you’ll feel good about him tearing down his facade for you.
He will make you feel nice and warm inside.
He will kiss your forehead and tuck your hair behind your ears
He will surprise you with beautiful gestures.
but then
He will make you feel that you’re not enough.
He will tell you that you’re
not pretty enough
not smart enough
not feminine enough
not good enough

And the next thing you’ll know,
you’re left broken
and empty
and lost
and hurt.
You will be a stranger to yourself.

So darling, as soon as you see the red flag,

take the nearest exit. 

Run as fast as you can.

And don’t look back.

You’re not lonely. You’re just alone and that’s okay.
You’re just sixteen and you were meant for greater things.

Don’t go ahead chasing people who don’t know your worth. You were meant to be loved and pursued, and you should remember that.

You’re still young. Don’t rush relationships.

Love isn’t built for speed, anyway.

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Love, Madness, Poetry: Goodbye, really.

2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon, and I think I’m ready.
2 o’clock and I remind myself that it’s about time.
I’m tired of waiting and hoping for all the wrong reasons.
So I say goodbye and let go of all our “if onlys”.
I say goodbye to all the things you said that left me hoping still.
I say goodbye to you, and
and I say goodbye to what could have been us.
Goodbye. I’m letting you go, not because I want to, but because I have to. And because we have to.
“So when people leave, I’ve learned the secret: let them. Because, most of the time, they have to.
 Let them walk away and go places. Let them have adventures in the wild without you. Let them travel the world and explore life beyond a horizon that you exist in. And know, deep down, that heroes aren’t qualified by their capacity to stay but by their decision to return.”

—The Staying Philosophy, Isa Garcia

(Poem source: Berlin-artparasites)

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Hey Hershey: Loreal True Match Media Event for the Perfect No Make Up Look #FoundMyTrueMatch

September 27, 2015
Farmacy, BGC
for the PERFECT NO MAKE UP LOOK #FoundMyTrueMatch
I have always, always, ALWAYS been a fan of Loreal True Match foundations for the following reasons:
1. I don’t get allergic reactions/ pimples from using it (I have sensitive skin).
2. It’s very light on the face (which is perfect for our country’s very humid weather).
3. It’s formulated to match Asian skin.
So when Loreal invited us to the media launch of their new and improved Loreal True Match line, I didn’t even think twice about going!! 
When we got to the event, we were given an empty box each to fill in with our own True Match essentials for the perfect #nomakeup look. We went to different stations on a search for our own #TrueMatch shades. After finding our #truematch shade per station, we were handed a key to keep with us ’til the end. After completing all 4 stations, we were asked to “unlock” a hunk (lol) to find out if we matched! If you get to unlock one, you get a special prize. 
I swear I couldn’t remember myself being THIS giddy in a media event!! We had so much fun running around places and talking to different people. Lol. Please allow me to tour you round a little!!

The Loreal True Match Blur Cream works like magic. Its micro blur technology soft focuses skin and optically smooths pores. It is non-greasy and weightless– I swear you’d barely even feel like you’re wearing make-up! 
I use this blur cream every day now. I usually put it on my t-zone area cause I have really oily skin and visible pores.
Thank you, Ms. Joan Teotico of Loreal! 🙂

Ahh. Now for the star of the show– the world’s #1 foundation.
The #NoMakeUp look has never been easier with the new and improved True Match foundation. Its formula now blends faster than ever, so it looks more natural than ever. It has 15 shades to choose from– all customized to match Asian skin tones and undertones. Awesome.
For station 2, we were asked to get in The Black Fleet– a gorgeous limousine bus.
This. is. so. cool.
And lol, guess who I met inside?! THE one and only, Ms. Verna Marin– Loreal Philippines’ senior makeup artist (who also happened to be the make-up artist at my debut a year and a half ago! Hahaha! Talk about destiny!)
Miss Verna helped me find my true match shade. (For those curious, I’m a G3 Gold Vanilla).

Aaah. I’m in love with this concealer, too! It’s very easy to lightweight and easy to blend– perfect for school girls like me!

Thank you, Ms. Roberta Millena! 🙂

Ooooh. I liked this station, too!! (Lahat nalang! HAHA!)
Introducing Loreal’s Brow Artist in two types:  the brow genius kit and the brow artist designer pro.

“The Brow Genius Kit is the ultimate all-in-one brow kit. It contains styling wax, tinted powder, and a spoolie. The pigmented wax holds for 12 hours and the natural shaded powder allows for buildable color.”
The 3-in-1 brow artist designer pro is equipped with a brow pencil, a brow eyeshadow, and a spoolie!


Both the brow kit and the designer pro come in two shades: light and dark.
(If you’re asking,  I got the light brow kit and the dark designer pro.) 
Thank you so much, Ms. Gex Garcia! 

Tada! Mission accomplished!! 🙂
Now it’s time to test if the keys I got could unlock a hunk. Lol! 
AND YEP. It did! 
And I won two tickets to a movie screening! Yay!! 🙂


Just posting this here cause her Trisha’s gray hair looks really, really neat!!
After filling in our boxes with Loreal goodies, we filled our tummies with burgers and ice cream! 

Thank you so much for inviting us to this event!! 🙂 Had such a blast, you guys! Til next time!

With Jan Baybay, my life peg in every aspect of my life?? Haha. 

Thanks for the great  time, Cathy!! You’re such a fun person to be with!

And yep guys, I’m trying to start this whole vlogging thing. Here’s my first ever video blog! Hahaha and yes, this is how kulit we really are in person! #truematch #truecolor #trueself #letsgetreal 
Do I recommend Loreal True Match products?
They’re perfect for Asian skin, and I’m not even being biased about this. Try it out for yourselves, ladies!! 🙂

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Love, Madness, Poetry: We almost were.

Yes, I’m still not completely over you, or over us, or rather, over what could have been an us. But I’m trying my hardest. Earlier tonight, I saw this poem on berlin-artparasite’s page, and it struck me. 

This needs to end.

I need to stop being in love with the ideas of what could have been. We could have slowly inched closer and held each other a little tighter. We could have laughed a little harder and fallen in love some more. There are so many things that could have happened, but didn’t. We almost were. We almost weren’t. We almost happened. Cupid almost won. But he didn’t. And we didn’t either. “

— Ming D. Liu

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#MatrixPH: 8″ Cut for Cancer on Sept. 18, 2015 at SM Megamall

Heartbreaking reports identified that the number of Filipino children diagnosed with cancer are rising by 30 percent annually. According to the Philippine Children’s Medical Center (PCMC), there are over 500 kids being treated for cancer at PCMC alone and this figure is still rising – making it the fastest growing population in the hospital. While the real cure for this is yet to be discovered, Matrix Philippines aids in bringing normalcy among these kids’ lives through launching last year the first ever Matrix 8-inch Cut for Cancer Challenge, an initiative under its worldwide program called “Matrix Chairs of Change”, which allows salon communities and stylists to make a difference through their craft.

With the goal of uplifting more lives of Filipino children braving the battle against cancer by donating medical hair wigs, trusted American professional brand, Matrix, on its second year takes on the challenge to gather hairdressers and Filipino women nationwide to make a difference by sharing their talent and their hair, respectively. The campaign is in partnership with David’s Salon, who pledged 80 hairdressers to share their talent for the cause, and with Kythe Ateneo, who will serve as the beneficiary.

“On this one-day only event, in celebration of Child Cancer Awareness Month on September, our goal is to bring together Filipinas to donate at least 8 inches of their hair that will then be turned into wigs to be donated to kids undergoing cancer treatment,” shared Inah Ramos, Senior Product Manager of Matrix Philippines. “As we encourage our stylists to make a difference through their craft, we would like to share the mission of Matrix to everyone to be able to touch and change lives of more Filipino children fighting cancer.”

From August 1 to September 18, Filipino women are invited to register to be part of the movement by signing up at Then on September 19, all registered volunteers can head to
2nd Level Mega Atrium of SM Megamall to have 8 inches of their hair cut and be transformed into children’s wigs.

For the second run of the Matrix 8-Inch Cut for Cancer campaign, last year’s ambassador and among the first who took the challenge, Maxene Magalona, passes on this igniting act this time to her own sister, Saab Magalona – Bacarro. With cancer awareness as an advocacy that is very close to their hearts, both ambassadors share the same goal of inspiring and encouraging more Filipinos to make a difference in the lives of kids battling cancer.

With 35 years of global salon success and currently present in 58 countries, Matrix continues the Chairs of Change journey with the Matrix 8-Inch Cut for Cancer Year 2. “Matrix and our partners are proud to join this worldwide movement in increasing priority given to cancer patients to remain inspired and continue the fight with confidence,” added Ramos.

Are you ready to accept the challenge this year to give Filipino children an option to live with confidence and expression? For more information about the campaign and to register for the Matrix 8-Inch Cut for Cancer, please visit
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